Fake It Till You Make It

I’m really struggling at the moment…

It’s my senior year. I’m swamped with school work… My classes are intense and challenging- I threw in an extra minor last semester so this semester is heavily focused on Management Information Systems which isn’t something I’m passionate about but I do think Computer Forensics is interesting, and I know living in DC it’s a great “fall back”…

Which could prove necessary…

Because my school district is doing major cutbacks.  It’s so scary.  Basically all our jobs are at risk.  Seniority, education, position, work ethic don’t really matter.  The specifics on how they chose have not been revealed, but I’ve been worried about this for awhile but didn’t know if I should share.  I guess since our Chancellor is all over the news defending this decision it’s okay.

I keep saying “I’m not worried about it. It’s no big deal. It’d be great to get a severance package and hang out at home for a bit.”

That’s not entirely true though.  Even though I’m super busy I don’t want to look for another job, leave my students, start over, lose my direction… Plus, since I’d want to be re-hired in a new position next year I couldn’t take out my aggression, I’d just have to be mature and shake hands which would take out the only possible joy in the situation!

This intensity has led to some really bad choices.  I can’t tell you the last time I exercised (other than the walks and swims with my afterschool crew)…

I didn’t take pictures but I need to be accountable-

Breakfast: rice milk, plain yogurt, protein powder, PB2  and a banana (=smoothie)
Snack: Vanilla Frapp
Lunch: 2 slice of pizza, diet coke and 2 cookies
Snack: Large brownie
Dinner: Chicken sandwich, fries, diet coke, cookie and a cupcake

Truth? I wasn’t hungry after lunch. In the end, the list isn’t very long but the choices were horrendous (except breakfast) and I could have made much better choices.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I start my days with the best intentions which is why my breakfast choices have been pretty good lately and I can even make it through lunch (if I pack it) but then I’m exhausted after my 8-3:30 school day, followed by 3:30-5 afterschool group (parks, pool, walking, high energy) plus the stress of getting my school work done is overbearing.

I’ll keep fighting the *good fight* though. My health is worth it. I’ll figure this out someday.

In the meantime, I’ll keep that smile on my face and make the kids laugh… Apparently Ms. Rebeca is soooooo funny 😉

Any tips?

 

Bonjour Mes Amis

Hey y’all…

I’ve rescheduled my entire life.  Well, at least I’m trying to.  A lot of my worries have been eased and while I still have some things to figure out, things are much better over here 😀

So… in keeping with my new attitude and my commitment to do the things that I love along with the things that I just “have to do” I’m going to commit to food blogging again.  Mainly for me.  It definitely stabilizes me and it certainly ups the quality of my eats… sorta 😉

I’ve been battling some illness so I had a liquid breakfast

A nice mug of Yogi Throat Comfort Tea which has been my saving grace this weekend… Normally, I skip sweetener but I know that honey is actually really good for sore throats plus it made the 10-12 cups a day much more interesting.

The second part included this really cool powder I was sent.  Macrolife Naturals is a line of food supplement powders and bars.  I know a lot of people are “anti-powders” but I’m a fan.  Last year, when I was a nanny and was home all day I had time to make sure I was covering all my nutritional bases.  Now, that’s not really feasible because I’m out of the house and chasing five year olds seven hours a day.  This helps me meet my nutritional needs without much thought.

Anyway, it comes in two varieties and this Macrolife Reds is fab-u-lous.  I popped it into the blender with half a frozen banana and some vanilla soymilk.  It tasted similar to strawberry banana but not quite (I’m so eloquent, no?).  I actually hate strawberry banana but I liked this because it wasn’t quite that.  It was berry banana more accurately which I like! A lot!

Obviously, there was some (soy) milky unsweetened coffee to go.  Obviously.

A Panera “Bogel” was also consumed.  Cinnamon Krunch.  I have no idea where the other five went.  None.

Lunch was kind of thrown together. A nice sized salad with romaine, tomatoes, red onion, olives and feta. Oh, and some yummy Greek Dressing.  This is by far my favorite version of salad.  Simple and delicious. Next time, remind me to add capers, k?

Along with that I had another Macrolife product- one of the bars.  Chocolate Cinnamon. Honestly, this isn’t my favorite combination of flavors.  Chocolate alone would have been grand.  I do love that this is a raw bar and that the first ingredients are brazil nuts (yum) and date paste.  It’s not a Larabar but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  There are some other flavors that are more on my radar- Apple Lemon and Berri Berri are great.  Especially, Berri Berri.

Would I buy these bars and the powder? Honestly, it’s out of my price range.  A three month supply of the powder is $100.00.  That comes out to a dollar a day and believe me I think that health is priceless.  The bars are ~$32.00 for a pack of 12.  That’s almost 3 dollars each.    I did feel really good today.  Significantly better than I did over the last four days that I spent mainly lying around blowing my nose… The feelings could be related to that but maybe the sheer amount of healthy supplements in these products that bombarded my body with what it needed to heal.  Who knows.  I think further research is necessary.

I had an appointment today- good news I don’t have H1N1… for all the concerned parties out there… and if you are sick… go to the doctor better safe than sorry… even if it’s just a cold, you don’t want to share those germs with those around you… Believe me then you’ll feel awful.

By the time I got home, I had a serious craving out of nowhere (actually it’s from a Psych commercial, ten points if you know the one ;).

Don’t hate. Baked (formerly frozen) fries and some grated Organic Valley Colby cheese.  Mmm. Perfection.  Actually, even though my tummy was full I wasn’t satisfied.  That finger food doesn’t work for me.  I must say though that I think that was the second time in life I had cheese fries (okay third?) I totally see the love.  Yum. (Salad plate- obvi).

I decided to put all that carby goodness to use and went for a treadmill run (so I could get some major reading) done… 40 minutes of that, followed by a quick cooldown on the stationary bike (mostly just so I could finish the chapter!).

I feel great tonight.  I’m not sure what it is but I had a great day… My attitude has definitely shifted and though I have a lot on my plate there are those who have a lot less than I do and I am thankful to be so fortunate.  I got a killer afterschool job that’s just an hour and half which makes my impending move and rent increase (worth it for a bigger place) much more feasible AND I’m loving my classes which makes all the reading and assignments enjoyable.  Gotta love it.  Oh and I got two new students today which splits our class pretty evenly among those lovely strong personalities and the more mellow (read: don’t scream in the hallways) crowd.  I figure that in the next month or so the strong personalities will duke it out and instead of competing will learn how to work together 🙂

Ok… I’m still a little gross in need of a shower and to prep my lunch for tomorrow. Night loves.

 

Thankful Thursday: the Simple Things

I know I owe you guys a real post and when I feel like I can share (or more specifically what I can share) and I’m not so emotional I will… Thanks for all the emails and concerned comments… You people rock my life 😉

Things are kind of rough chez moi.  I can’t seem to wrap my head around my life but that’s my own doing since I work full time in a stressful job, go to school full time with a major and two minors and have a life with important people that I need to make a priority as well.

In all honesty, I have fallen off the healthy eating/living bandwagon and I’m noticing the results… but it’s all about picking myself up and starting over.  I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.

Despite some serious decisions and changes I need to make, I am focusing on the wonderful things in my life, no matter how simple, that bring rays of sunshine to my days.

These blissful chocolate lava cakes from Dominos… I know… the horror… they’re worth every one of those 357 kcals.  Seriously… Rich, Delicious, Totally Satisfying- A meal in chocolate form. (Hey, I’m keeping it real here, sometimes a girl just needs a little chocolate at the end of the day!).

I broke my “real” cell phone the other day.  I managed to find an old one that still worked.  It doesn’t always send texts or hold a charge but you know what it does do?  It works enough for me to be able to spend the first part of my morning commute chatting with my mother who helps set the positive tone for my day even if it’s becoming harder to maintain but still… Gotta love the mom time.

On that cell phone note, the day it broke my brother ran out right away to try to get me a new one.  It didn’t work out but it just helps remind me how great he is.  Even when he annoys me, at the end of the day, he’ll do anything for his big sis…. The shot glass? I bought it for him in 2006 at the zoo.  I just forget to take it to him so it sits on my coffee table and every time I see it I smile.

My inbox… from the quick emails to my dad in the evenings, to the encouraging ones from you guys throughout the day, even when it overwhelms me there are some hidden gems in there that make it a good thing!

How random am I? These funky little coasters were a gift from a friend and they also remind me of college nights with my girls back in my dorm days.  Good memories.  Great girls. Good times.

This little thing is making my school year a million times better!  I used to lose my SmartTrip (kind of like a flash pass for bus/metro here for you none DCers) all the time.  I found this little thing that I can clip to my key chain which I keep clipped to my person (it’s necessary- I may or may not have thrown away a couple of sets  of keys last year too).  That means I always know where it is, I can clip it to my bag so I know where both things are in the AM and I don’t need to take it out to use it either!

Sometimes, the weight of life- adulthood- relationships- career- education- everything just seems unbearable.  It’s so easily to be overwhelmed by these things and feel like you cannot make it through, you cannot sobrevivir (survive but the word breaks down to mean “over-live” it just works better than English, no?).  The truth is that you can and so can I.  Just search for the things that will make you happy, keep you sane, make your life easier.  It’s worth the effort!

The view from my window- even when I hate my teeny, overpriced place this makes it better

P.S. Don’t forget to enter my Dr.Krackers and my Chobani giveaways 🙂