I’m really struggling at the moment…

It’s my senior year. I’m swamped with school work… My classes are intense and challenging- I threw in an extra minor last semester so this semester is heavily focused on Management Information Systems which isn’t something I’m passionate about but I do think Computer Forensics is interesting, and I know living in DC it’s a great “fall back”…

Which could prove necessary…

Because my school district is doing major cutbacks.  It’s so scary.  Basically all our jobs are at risk.  Seniority, education, position, work ethic don’t really matter.  The specifics on how they chose have not been revealed, but I’ve been worried about this for awhile but didn’t know if I should share.  I guess since our Chancellor is all over the news defending this decision it’s okay.

I keep saying “I’m not worried about it. It’s no big deal. It’d be great to get a severance package and hang out at home for a bit.”

That’s not entirely true though.  Even though I’m super busy I don’t want to look for another job, leave my students, start over, lose my direction… Plus, since I’d want to be re-hired in a new position next year I couldn’t take out my aggression, I’d just have to be mature and shake hands which would take out the only possible joy in the situation!

This intensity has led to some really bad choices.  I can’t tell you the last time I exercised (other than the walks and swims with my afterschool crew)…

I didn’t take pictures but I need to be accountable-

Breakfast: rice milk, plain yogurt, protein powder, PB2  and a banana (=smoothie)
Snack: Vanilla Frapp
Lunch: 2 slice of pizza, diet coke and 2 cookies
Snack: Large brownie
Dinner: Chicken sandwich, fries, diet coke, cookie and a cupcake

Truth? I wasn’t hungry after lunch. In the end, the list isn’t very long but the choices were horrendous (except breakfast) and I could have made much better choices.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I start my days with the best intentions which is why my breakfast choices have been pretty good lately and I can even make it through lunch (if I pack it) but then I’m exhausted after my 8-3:30 school day, followed by 3:30-5 afterschool group (parks, pool, walking, high energy) plus the stress of getting my school work done is overbearing.

I’ll keep fighting the *good fight* though. My health is worth it. I’ll figure this out someday.

In the meantime, I’ll keep that smile on my face and make the kids laugh… Apparently Ms. Rebeca is soooooo funny 😉

Any tips?

This week has been a little strange for me and I know that it has been noticeable in the classroom.  It’s sometimes hard to see the big picture and that makes this last year of school (at least for this degree) seem so daunting when coupled with an incredibly difficult class to manage- although it’s fun, it’s certainly not easy.

Today, I found myself frustrated and saddened by things that occur all to often in our nation’s schools.  I stood in the cafeteria helping five classes through lunch with the help of only one other adult.  It was madness and then when we tried to take them out to recess it was a mob scene.  I was ready to scream but since I don’t yell at kids, I just tried to control the situation as best I could.  In the end, the principal worked it out and they calmed down enough to get to go outside… it was rough going though.

In those moments, I was renouncing our school and the system for making the whole situation so difficult but every time I did I remembered the first thought I had this morning when thinking of something to write about today-

You see, the other day, I shared my career doubts with a colleague and said how nice it would be to sit in an office, alone, in front of a computer screen all day.  He reminded me that it might get boring.  Then he said something that really made me so comfortable and sure in my chosen path.  He basically told me that I should never doubt my decision to be a teacher because to do something else would be a waste of my passion, drive and innate ability to do so.  Coming from someone who I respect so much as both a person, and an educator, it meant a lot.

I know that there are still days when you want to strangle the people you work with- everyone has those moments… but there is always something to be thankful for.  Even in the worst situations you can always learn something from your colleagues.

You can take their skills and their drive and use that as motivation to be better and achieve more.

You can take their negligence, their cattiness and their downright stupidity (come on, every workplace has at least one and if you can’t think of one, maybe it’s you ;)) and use that as motivation to be better and achieve more.

There once was a psychologist who interviewed to identical twins whose mother was an alcoholic.  He asked the first- “Why are you an alcoholic?” She said, “Because my mother was.” He, later, asked the second “Why aren’t you an alcoholic?” She said, “Because my mother was.” The first used her mother’s disease as the reasoning behind her own, the second used the same upbringing and DNA to choose to never have a drink.

It’s so easy to be thankful for what is good and easy and fun, but the bad, the challenging and unpleasant can often teach us even greater lessons.

Hey Buddies…

It’s been a bit, no?  I had a strange little weekend.  It was really fun just not the norm.  I pretty much unplugged- at least from school work which means this post will have to be fast but it was marvelous.

First, some housekeeping.  I *sent* prizes awhile back by placing the packages in my school office to be picked up.  Today, I was in there doing some work behind the front counter and guess what I found underneath it? Yep, your prizes.  I can’t deal with that… but hey I’m not exactly shocked by the lack of organization. Anyway, I’ll be taking them to the post office this week.  Hopefully, I can get there before they close tomorrow, if not then I’ll run over during lunch on our Professional Development Day later this week.  Again, my apologies!

Friday, I stayed at work for a couple of hours and got major work done.  I may need to make that a habit.  I sit in my quiet classroom plug-in some headphones and just WORK.  It’s kind of fabulous.  Then I met an old friend from from Tufts (where I spent my freshman year).  We had a great time at this little restaurant at Union Square (nothing to write home about).

The rest of the weekend was spent lying around watching standup and movies.  It’s not something I usually do but it was amazing.

Nothing really of note was eaten except for about a pound of guac on Sunday while I was watching FOOTBALL.

Anyway, I’m on a mission. My new schedule has me leaving my place at 6:40, getting to school at 7:50 and starting work at 8:00 to 3:30.  Lunch is at 1:00 and after school I work until 5 or so.  So that means I need something that will carry me at least from pre-6:40 to 11:00 (when my kids have a healthy snack and I can snag a handful of baby carrots or something).  Then a lunch that will carry me to 6:30.  I don’t want to get home starving because that leads to bad decisions.  I can have a snack at 3:30 but I’m not really hungry then.

So, I’m trying to find the combination of nutrients that will work for me.  Today, I went with my favorite. Carbs.

I made overnight oats but then I realized the yogurt was way expired and it grossed me out so I ditched it. Instead, I had leftover noodles.


Cold sesame noodles isn’t exactly standard breakfast far and honestly I had maybe half a cup and it wasn’t nearly enough because I was starving at around 9 and since the snack was yogurt tubes I had to wait till lunch.

Lunch was more pasta.  That’s mainly because of my unplanned breakfast. Promise I wasn’t trying to eat pasta for every meal 🙂


Half was penne that was mixed with red peppers and baby spinach.  The other half was tortellini (unstuffed) and pesto and there was enough pesto covering those noodles to get on all the pasta.

It was good but then my co-workers started sharing junkie snacks and I ended up eating half a honey bun (my fave snack of all time) and some Fritos.  I’m not too worried about it though.

In the end- EPIC fail (hence the suspicious lack of photos).  Those carbs went through me (I also walked/ran a couple of miles with the kids after school) and those simple carbs didn’t work (it was white pasta too, yikes).

Tomorrow, I’ll try something different.

Anyone else out of their home most of the day and have healthy, packed meal tips?  How about fun easy to pack lunches?  Or even, make ahead dinners so I won’t succumb to bad choices when I get home? Any help/idea/tips would be greatly appreciated 😀

Notes: I can’t carry a bunch of containers because I’m trying to protect my back which is jacked up.  There is a fridge in my classroom so I was thinking that I could keep lots of cut up fruits and veggies in there so that I can just pack a “main dish.”  Last year I kept a loaf of bread, hummus and cheese to make sandwiches but I didn’t like being forced to eat the same sandwich everyday.  I also can’t really eat breakfast at work so my meals definitely need to be done before 8 and eating on the Metro is against the “law.”  Thanks guys!

On a very sad note… the Bills lost. Seriously… My heart is now broken.

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