This post is a little different.
I had a day.
Not a bad day, school was its usual self (good), but I was just struggling.
My feelings were hurt and I was upset and who better to take that anger out on but myself.
It seems like when I’m having a bad day the person who suffers is me, more than anyone else. Instead of dealing with my issues with people, I let them weigh heavily on me and try to find a way to overpower those feeling. That usually ends up resulting in some really awful food choices.
On the one hand, today was no different. I ate a really small breakfast (as in handful of cereal and some berries) with the hope that I’d eat some fruit at school, but then fevers abounded and we were back and forth in the nurse’s office calling parents (sad). So, I got on the bus starving and upset.
Never a good combination.
I sat there dreaming of junk food and made my self a pretty junky lunch that I dove into and purposefully “couldn’t find the cam.”
On the other hand, today was a victory. I stopped eating maybe a quarter of the way through.
I wasn’t enjoying the food.
It made me feel awful.
Then I thought about what we talked to our students about today.
If “A” pushes you, then you, person “B,” needs to say something to them. It is your responsibility to defend yourself. Mr. R said to the kids “That is what life is. Constantly setting boundaries with people. It is your job. It is not easy, but if you want to be happy you have to.” Little did he know that his partner in crime needed that lesson as well.
So, I stopped eating the junk. Took a nap. Yes! I was tired. I have work to do. Illnesses are going around school. My body needs rest.
Then I got up, read a book, not a school book. Yes! My soul needs rest. My brain needs a break. There’s time enough for schoolwork.
It’s getting dark so I won’t head out for an outdoor ride but I’m going to go for an indoor one. Not to burn off calories but because it makes my body feel strong, it makes me happy and it’ll help clear my head.
So, I’m going to work on setting my limits, saying NO, doing what I think is best for ME. That’s not selfish or wrong, that’s healthy. Just as good food and regular exercise are part of this journey to real healthy living, for me, loving myself and protecting myself are part of the plan!