It’s been hectic at Casa All Vegged Out and yesterday I came home and crashed.  It was nice, and despite waking up in the middle of the night for a while I’m still much more rested today 🙂

Yesterday and today have been bad food days though.  I didn’t have breakfast either day, even though I packed one yesterday and repacked it today.  Oops.  I’ll eat it tomorrow hopefully.

Lunch both days were frozen burritos.

WF Bean & Rice Burrito

WF Bean & Rice Burrito

Yesterday’s was a Bean & Rice Burrito.

It’s by Whole Foods and I bought it because it was half the price of the Amy’s version that I adore.  Well, it was okay, not as good but a great deal for the price, and the tortilla it was wrapped in tasted so fresh and it was soooo soft.  I loved it.

Cedarlane Bean, Rice & Cheese Burrito

Cedarlane Bean, Rice & Cheese Burrito

Today’s was a Bean, Cheese & Rice Burrito.

Eh, I never had the Amy’s of WF’s version of this one (I accidently grabbed this brand instead of the cheap cheap WF one, oops)  but I just wasn’t into it.  Which was shocking because I expected to love it because I love cheese. Still, I really appreciated my freezer the last two days because both days I was too lazy to pack a lunch the night before and in a daze in the morning.  Oh and both days I had 2 clementines on the side, but y’all know what my clementines look like 😀  Sorry I didn’t get pics of the actual burritos, I actually saved the wrappers in my lunch bag so I could capture them at home I got weird looks the other day because I just whipped out the camera, and there are those that I would share this with and others who I would never.  Ya know?  How do you deal with that?  I tried my celly but I hate it’s pics, now my old phone was really good but this one not so much.

Dinner last night was chips and tonight it was a bunch of chocolates out of an assortment box I got for Christmas.  I know stellar nutritionals.

I did go on a first date today and it was chill and nice and we walked around and I had a Tazo ‘Refresh’ tea and later we went to one of my fave restaurants ever, Adega, for a glass of wine (Riesling).  Oh and I had one little piece of calamari but 1. we totally found a piece that looked like a head and 2. those chocolates were plentiful, so one piece was enough.  I dunno, I had a fun night

I know that my last two days haven’t been nutritionally balanced at all. I know that I need more whole foods but as usual there was some sort of issue at T.E.S. that derailed my efforts.  I mean the past few months I’ve been barely maintaining my weight, well in a 7 lb range (mostly on the higher side) and I haven’t really lost anything.  I can only attribute that to the stress of being at the school and my apparent inability to rise above it.

Okay, that’s not true.  Eighty-five percent of the days I’ve gotten it right with breakfast and lunch and that’s not bad.  My ED though has been messing with my lately because it’s impossible for me to reach my goal for the year and it’s hard to deal with that sometimes.  But I know that’s not true because I’ve lost like 40lbs in a year.  And no I’m not at the “perfect” number or really close to it yet, but I’ve worked hard and I’ve done it in a really smart healthy way and I didn’t think I would ever make it past January.  Yet, I have.  I’m proud of me 😀

I would love to go to work on Friday or Monday and have it be my last day there.  I would love for that to erase all my problems and make it “easy” again.  Yet, I have rent and bills and goals and dreams and despite the fact that some people and some events try to derail me, I’ve made it through so much- I made it through a horrible first year at college, I made it through two years of a pretty bad situation as a nanny, I made it through two months of unemployment, I made it through a very nasty, painful roommate situation, and I’m making it through T.E.S. and I’m so much of a better person today than I was yesterday.  I am closer to being whole than ever and all those negative thoughts and doubts that drove me to ED are fading because the weak, useless person I thought I was could never do this.  So, now I’ll just keep trusting.

Man oh man, a few sips of wine and this girl bares her soul… Night Night