So, I desperately miss blogging… but lately I’ve been feeling so “blah” (I know, I know, I’m an amazingly descriptive writer) and that has been at the root of my lack of blogging.

I’ve been lonely lately… I moved into my own place in mid-October and I LOVE it… it’s very cute and definitely feels like home which is a feeling I haven’t had in awhile but coming home to a dark apartment at 8ish every night of the week stinks and my main friends in the area are far away and equally busy so aside from some weekend time it’s been hard…

Works been… interesting… their are way more kids in the class than the beginning of the year… well only three but the two boys have some intense home issues (custody, drugs, social services, court kind of things) and they bring them to school in the form of acting out and violence which is always “fun” and the little girl is a sweetheart but she has autism which presents a whole other set of challenges.  I do love the kiddos though even the newest one who makes my life difficult daily and I can’t help but feel relieved when his dad doesn’t bring him in for breakfast in the AM :/  My situation with the teacher I work with has improved greatly… we’re so tight now… I definitely misjudged her but she also misjudged me because of my association with my ex-roommate (don’t even get me started on how off that one is!).  The adults at school are a mess though.  I never felt second class until I started working at T.E.S.  The whole place is like a mini Tzarist Russia or something.  Oh well… I have some things in the works

And… the biggest confession of all is that I’ve had meat, a few times… and I got a horrific migraine afterward but I also came to a realization… 1. It wasn’t my first migraine since giving up meat so even though they’re less frequent they haven’t disappeared. When they are the least frequent are when I eat closest to nature, regardless of what the food is.  2.  I loved giving up meat because it meant that I could restrict myself and have all sorts of food rules that were outside of the confines of disordered eating, but I think that the root of the decision was that… Now I’m not saying that I’m going to have burgers and steaks for my three squares but what I am saying is that if I’m craving a turkey sandwich, I’m going to have one without guilt and I plan to enjoy some quality organic, natural, hormone free turkey and enjoy the sandwich instead of forcing away the craving with junk or copious amounts of non-junk.

So… now I’m going to sit down with a notebook, the sale ads from my local supermarkets, coupons (I am a cash strapped, college student, with a huge rent and Christmas on the horizon  ) and plan a week’s (well hopefully more) worth of meals and snacks and get ready for the work week, which will be thankfully short since I’m not working at school tomorrow, though I will be babysitting tomorrow- but an afternoon with two beautiful and teeny (3 month old teeny) babies…

Tomorrow… I will focus on eating and focus on me which means I will focus on the blog because I know it’s good for me to blog because it keeps me accountable and healthy 😀

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