I packed two large (and heavy) suitcases full of clothes that no longer fit (from both ends of the spectrum, too big-yeah, and too small). I figured that as I lose more weight and can fit into my favorites again that I’ll just do a mail swap with my mother for those clothes or something… My closet is empty… my drawers are full but only with the casual stuff I wear here and some ‘business’ attire…. So, I converted my closet into a pseudo pantry, well really just a small portion of it because it’s quite large. I figured that since the items are unopened and in our ultra-air conditioned house and my dark closet they’d be fine. I also don’t want there to be comments when I move about me taking my food with me (hey, a girl’s gotta eat, and eat healthy, and healthy ain’t cheap). Basically, I’m preparing myself for all the possiblilities.

A lot of the day, I felt like giving up and just running away home but I don’t want to do that… it would not automatically equal happiness and an easy job search. I did suck it up and realized that the best job for me now is a nanny job, just not this one. I actually found some amazing ones in the city that are live out. Heh, which means regular hours and my own space. All good things. The one I’m dying for is with a baby, I love babies 🙂 We scheduled a meeting for the weekend that I’m back in the area, and I’m hoping things go well, especially since she wants someone in September! Which means that I could give two weeks notice after my next vacation (hah) and use that week off for apartment searching and moving. I can even fly one or both of my parents here (since I would have been going there if things were different) and they can go with me, which is always good because some 21 year old, 5’2” “innocent-looking” girl probably shouldn’t work through leases and such on her own (I mean she certainly can but her mom and dad are so much better at it than she is!).

Honestly, I’m more at peace with this than with anything else. I’m still open to other things but really, I don’t want to get stuck at some admin job that’ll mean putting aside my own goals for awhile. (Not that I wouldn’t love being an admin, I did it in high school and loved it, especially the sitting on a computer all day part). Oh, and this particular nanny job would be a significant pay raise, for significantly fewer hours (no more 65 hour weeks) and significantly few children. More money, less hours, less stress, in the city of DC… niiice

*Sigh*

Who knows man, who knows. It seems like every day there’s something different going on in my brain when it really should be focused on school and being young and all that. Oh well, life is about challenges and surmounting them and learning from them.

Omigosh… FOOD lol

Lindsay over at For the Love of Oats talks about Cinnamon Raisin PB, and as huge cinnamon raisin fan, well I knew that I needed to get my hands on a jar. Imagine my delight when my small town Giant carried the flavor on its shelves!

Mmm, Peanut Butter and Co. The ingredient list is most impressive

Peanuts, Evaporated Cane Juice, Raisins, Cinnamon, Organic Palm Oil, Salt

What? No High Fructose Corn Syrup? No Partially Hydrogenated Oil? Can they even do that?

Why yes, yes they can, and it tastes goooood! I love this PB, when I first opened the jar the aroma of cinnamon was so distinct but I didn’t see any raisins. The first sandwich that I had using this had a few raisin bits in it, which is why I encouraged my picky father to try it (he said he didn’t want to have to chew through a raisin)… well I was missing out with the first sandwich, because deep in the jar are whole, deliciously sweet raisins. I think that my favorite part is the texture of this peanut butter.

It’s so creamy but then there are the raisins that add a great chew to the peanut butter. Oh my, I’m obsessed. The best part (well one of the many) is that unlike some natural nut butters there’s no need for stirring, always a plus when you’re in a rush. The nutrition facts are pretty great to:

Serving Size: 2 T (32 g), 180 kcal, 11 g fat, 2 g saturated fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 35 mg sodium, 13 g carbohydrates, 2 g dietary fiber, 9 g sugar, 6 g protein

When you compare that to regular peanut butter (190 kcal, 16 g fat, 3 g s.f., 150 mg sodium) you’re pretty much ahead, calorie-wise, health-wise and taste-wise, and that regular peanut butter doesn’t have cinnamon or raisins in it!

Well, frankly I knew it had to be good because everything Lindz eats looks and tastes good (based on what I’ve tried).

For dinner, I had the best salad ever.

Spinach, Red, Yellow and Orange Peppers and Annies Papaya Poppyseed dressing. I realized as I was making the salad that I’d need some whole grains in there, so I stuffed a bunch of the salad into a pita and added some avocado to the pita. I mean, I know it’s simple ingredients but really the dressing really complimented the sweetness of the peppers. Next time (when I have a better veggie stock and not the depleting ‘going away for a week’ produce drawer), I’ll definitely add more veggies- tomatoes, cucumbers, anything. I added some avocado to the pita mostly because they tend to be dry and the avocado helps counter that. Since I’m so low of produce, I’ll be having the same thing for lunch. OK, I lied I’ll be having it for lunch because it is delicious! Hehehe!

Between lunch and dinner I also had this:

Fruit punch (half juice, half water). I hate drinking my calories, and I hate ‘fake’ juice but for some reason this was calling my name from the fridge. It was super good, and even at 4 oz. of juice, 5 oz. of water it was still too sweet (eck). It was refreshing at the time but not really the best juice choice out there.

I have a long night of reading ahead of me so I brought up a snack so that I don’t end up raiding my ‘closet/pantry’ (hmm never thought of that possibility, but unless I start eating raw couscous I think I’m ok)… so I grabbed my last two carrots and a bowl of grapes.

Sorry for the low quality photo… the lighting in my room stinks because I have a low watt bulb and heavy blinds, plus heavy curtains… that and the curtains are pink so it reflects a rose colored light all over the room (which I love, but it’s not really the best for pics). (Check out sparkpeople in the background).

Hmmm, that was a long one, procrastination maybe definitely 😀

Night!!!!!!!!!!!

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