I am so very tired, I’m not even going to sit here and upload the pics (though I may do so tomorrow if I get a chance).
I just finished this weeks paper, and have so much Art History to catch up on! The plan is to use tomorrow for that, and then focus on getting head start on next weeks reading on Sunday!
I had a very strange, angsty day and it made me realize that I’m not happy with a lot of things in my life- namely work and school. They go hand in hand because I feel like I need this job to be able to get done with school quickly (and pay for it myself) so I’ve been killing myself and packing in the classes in order to graduate with or at least close to my peers, but I think I need to remember that when I’m overloaded like this that I can’t take care of a very important person, me. If that means that it takes me an extra year to finish then so be it, but that also means an extra year hear, I guess, which is getting harder and harder to swallow (by here I mean this house not DC/SoMD because that here is where I want to be). I suppose I could get another nanny job and it would be nice to have a fresh start there but I’m not sure how great my reference from here would be and a two year gap in my resume would not look good, now would it (especially when you’re 21 and there’s not much before that!). I guess I have a lot of thinking to do, and I’m also looking into different schools with different programs that may get me to where I want to be more effectively, and hopefully a bit faster than 2010! Grr…
Normally, such an emotional day would fill be with an emptiness that I would fill with food but today I filled it with something much better. Conversations with my mom, three long ones in fact. It made me both sad and happy to have them. Sad because I wasted so much timing pushing away this person who wanted to be my friend and who I certainly could have leaned on time and again, and happy because I figured this out now in time to actually have a friendship with her and not after it was too late because we had grown so far apart or worse. Now if only she’d get over her computer-phobia and start reading this once in awhile!
The eats were actually quite good today:
Lunch was simply an Amy’s Bean Burrito (nondairy) which I made in the oven, and small banana. At first, I thought it smelled weird but I was in love after first bite. I wonder if there’s a way to buy these in bulk!
Snack was two more muffins. OMG I ate three today. One for breakfast, one as an AM snack and the other as an afternoon snack. They just kept getting better 😛
Dinner was weird- I made a beautiful salad with romaine, red bell peppers, carrots and a few croutons but was in the mood for creamy dressing, but the only kind we have is FF Ranch and it has this sickly sweet taste that I hate. All the while, I was feeling nostalgic for Buffalo Wings (I’m from the B-lo) and then I saw a bottle of Frank’s Red Hot. So I mixed two parts dressing, one part hot sauce and had the best dressing ever! Next time I’d do a one to one ratio though because it wasn’t spicy enough. I ended up picking out all the topping to my salad and eating them plain and just dipping the lettuce into the sauce because the veggies were perfect on their own, croutons are always good on their own and the lettuce was blah! It made for a weird eating experience since I ate salad with my fingers but it was fun, fun!
I was still hungry though since that was only about 200kcal, so I had a bowl of PB Puffins and Fiber 1 with soy milk to round out the day.
I also made an iced coffee and a chai latte (that ended up over ice since it was too hot for all of that!).
I guess I did eat some things emotionally (the muffin snacks) but considering where I could have gone today I’m happy with my 1400 kcal day.
As always, a bad day just means that tomorrow has an easier shot at being better. Does that make sense? Ahh, who cares… time for magazines and blankets and rest!